Wednesday, August 10, 2005
The Bitch is Back
Hi folks!
I’m back and in action. The trip went very well and I’m tan and kind of rested. Although Paul has a tendency to sleep straight through vacations, I like to go out and party it up. I think I probably slept an average of 5 hours a night. When we got home on Monday, I slept for about 15 hours straight, only getting up on Tuesday to check on journals, take a massive shit, and eat pizza. Cuz 6 days without NYC pizza is 5 days too long!
For the first part of the trip, we stayed in Rhode Island in this fantastic hotel right on the beach. Our room opened up to reveal a private balcony that had a table and chairs overlooking the waves as they crashed on to our beach. It was, BY FAR, the most beautiful place I’ve ever stayed in. I sat for hours on that balcony, smoking cigarettes, and thinking about my life. I haven’t felt that clear headed and happy in such a long time. Since Paul ended up in bed really early on our first night of vacation, I spent 4 hours on the phone with friends, watching the moon rise over the ocean. It’s definitely a night that I will never forget. And it was one that I spent more or less alone.
For the rest of the RI trip, we went to Newport, out to fancy restaurants and I argued with Paul over just about everything. He got really sunburned one day and spent even more time in bed. I didn’t have much sympathy for him as he ALWAYS gets a better tan than me; even if his tan was in the form of Red Lobster.
After this, we drove to Boston and I got to spend three whole days with my brother. I had paid over $200 for Paul and me to spend our first night there in a gorgeous hotel. But five hours later we were packed and headed up to my brother’s pad. It was so good to see him and Paul was so drunk that there was no way I was going to stay in for the night tolerating him. Winfield and I stayed up until all hours playing videogames and drinking. The next day, we went to Best Buy and bought some new games to play. We must have played the Lord of the Rings videogame for 15 hours straight. My thumb is still sore for battling all of the Orcs.
On Sunday we partied and went to Avalon, the biggest gay club in Boston. It was a very enlightening experience. Enlightening in the way that I realized that at 28 I’m getting a little too old for clubs. The kids on the dance floor were irritating and not cute. The glow sticks and punk attitude is so out and I wanted to puke after realizing that in some way, this whole scene was me five years ago. Yikes.
All in all, I had a great vacation. Very uneventful as far as drama and for that I’m grateful. I feel a little low today having realized that I won’t be going on another vacation for a couple of months. I’m hoping to take off with a friend and go to Pittsburgh at the end of August, but that’s about it. I wish I could say that I missed the New York City heat and aggression, but I didn’t. In fact, it was so nice not having anyone push me out of the way for one reason or another.
I had therapy today and it left me feeling a bit out of sorts. I was laughing and talking through the whole session until Sophie guided the conversation towards my quest for independence. It seems to me that while I’ve made some major steps in the right direction, I’ve also taken some steps backwards. I’m more confused than ever about my relationship, my career, and my next step in this city. I’ve got a lot of self-analysis to do this week. Maybe I’ll make a pros and cons list just to get myself more focused.
While I love going on vacation, returning always leaves me feeling disorganized and out of rhythm. I’m hoping that with time I’ll fall back into my routine. Until then, I just hope that I can find a way to keep my mood stabilized and my depression at bay.
Thank God the weekend’s almost here.
Hi folks!
I’m back and in action. The trip went very well and I’m tan and kind of rested. Although Paul has a tendency to sleep straight through vacations, I like to go out and party it up. I think I probably slept an average of 5 hours a night. When we got home on Monday, I slept for about 15 hours straight, only getting up on Tuesday to check on journals, take a massive shit, and eat pizza. Cuz 6 days without NYC pizza is 5 days too long!
For the first part of the trip, we stayed in Rhode Island in this fantastic hotel right on the beach. Our room opened up to reveal a private balcony that had a table and chairs overlooking the waves as they crashed on to our beach. It was, BY FAR, the most beautiful place I’ve ever stayed in. I sat for hours on that balcony, smoking cigarettes, and thinking about my life. I haven’t felt that clear headed and happy in such a long time. Since Paul ended up in bed really early on our first night of vacation, I spent 4 hours on the phone with friends, watching the moon rise over the ocean. It’s definitely a night that I will never forget. And it was one that I spent more or less alone.
For the rest of the RI trip, we went to Newport, out to fancy restaurants and I argued with Paul over just about everything. He got really sunburned one day and spent even more time in bed. I didn’t have much sympathy for him as he ALWAYS gets a better tan than me; even if his tan was in the form of Red Lobster.
After this, we drove to Boston and I got to spend three whole days with my brother. I had paid over $200 for Paul and me to spend our first night there in a gorgeous hotel. But five hours later we were packed and headed up to my brother’s pad. It was so good to see him and Paul was so drunk that there was no way I was going to stay in for the night tolerating him. Winfield and I stayed up until all hours playing videogames and drinking. The next day, we went to Best Buy and bought some new games to play. We must have played the Lord of the Rings videogame for 15 hours straight. My thumb is still sore for battling all of the Orcs.
On Sunday we partied and went to Avalon, the biggest gay club in Boston. It was a very enlightening experience. Enlightening in the way that I realized that at 28 I’m getting a little too old for clubs. The kids on the dance floor were irritating and not cute. The glow sticks and punk attitude is so out and I wanted to puke after realizing that in some way, this whole scene was me five years ago. Yikes.
All in all, I had a great vacation. Very uneventful as far as drama and for that I’m grateful. I feel a little low today having realized that I won’t be going on another vacation for a couple of months. I’m hoping to take off with a friend and go to Pittsburgh at the end of August, but that’s about it. I wish I could say that I missed the New York City heat and aggression, but I didn’t. In fact, it was so nice not having anyone push me out of the way for one reason or another.
I had therapy today and it left me feeling a bit out of sorts. I was laughing and talking through the whole session until Sophie guided the conversation towards my quest for independence. It seems to me that while I’ve made some major steps in the right direction, I’ve also taken some steps backwards. I’m more confused than ever about my relationship, my career, and my next step in this city. I’ve got a lot of self-analysis to do this week. Maybe I’ll make a pros and cons list just to get myself more focused.
While I love going on vacation, returning always leaves me feeling disorganized and out of rhythm. I’m hoping that with time I’ll fall back into my routine. Until then, I just hope that I can find a way to keep my mood stabilized and my depression at bay.
Thank God the weekend’s almost here.
